Many men think: “Women's rights? That's something for women.” But that is a big misunderstanding and also self-destructive. By staying on the sidelines, you are not only hurting women but also yourself. Let me explain why.
Consider misogyny and femicide. According to the European Institute for Gender Equality, femicide is a serious manifestation of gender-based violence, stemming from an unequal power relationship between men and women (Femicide, n.d.). These are not isolated incidents. They arise in and through a society in which women are limited in their choices, freedom, and autonomy, often adapted to what men want or expect. Women are forced to conform to certain standards: thin, well-groomed, obedient, maternal, domestic. Those who do not comply may face disappointment, anger, hatred, and, in the worst case, violence. This has also been demonstrated in a study by Vera Lomazzi, which concluded that cultural norms, such as the assumption that men have authority over women and that women must serve their families, contribute to violence against women.
A culture in which we expect femininity from women and masculinity from men also affects men. It tells men that they will only be respected if they are strong, invulnerable, competitive, muscular, broad-shouldered, and successful. It's not just about appearance or career, but also about your hobbies and interests, such as sports, gaming, cars, and taking risks. You have to project that you are “a real man.” If you're not, you'll be called a “sissy,” “pussy,” or “soft.”
The result? A generation of men who don't talk about their inner world. This culture (also known as toxic masculinity) labels showing emotions as “feminine.” Vulnerability, crying, insecurity—these are seen as weaknesses. As a result, men swallow their fear, sadness, and doubt, while craving support and intimacy. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, adhering to these norms leads to harmful effects on mental health, such as loneliness, isolation, depression, anxiety, and avoidance behavior.
This culture also harbors a worldview that places women in a conservative box: thin, beautiful, obedient, domestic, and maternal. Women are reduced to objects and role models of traditional behavior, even though they are independent individuals with their own choices and ambitions. When women do not meet these standards, it leads to frustration, anger, and hatred in some men. This is the breeding ground for sexism, misogyny, and, in extreme cases, femicide.
Influential figures such as Andrew Tate reinforce this image of “how a man should be”: dominant, tough, insensitive, and always sexually successful. Young people who follow this feel enormous pressure to live up to an unrealistic ideal. They don't dare admit that they are insecure, struggle with emotions, or simply don't fit the ideal, because that would be a sign of weakness. The result? Fear of failure, depression, loneliness, and shame. This is precisely the crisis that many men are struggling with today.
And it's not just about boys. Girls also face pressure. Through social media, movies, and fashion, they are told that they must be thin, beautiful, well-groomed, obedient, and white. Both boys and girls suffer from this pressure.
And this is precisely where the LGBTQ+ community (especially the non-binary movement) shows that things can be different. Their struggle makes it clear that gender and identity do not have to be rigid frameworks, but that everyone should be free to express themselves as they are. This perspective not only breaks through restrictive roles for women, but also frees men from the straitjacket of “real masculinity.”
Men who support this struggle are investing in their freedom. A study by Van Laar et al. (2024), published in Psychology of Men & Masculinities, shows that men who break away from traditional gender norms experience more space for emotional expression and authentic relationships.
Standing up for equal rights for everyone is not just about solidarity; it is about building a society in which everyone can be themselves, without fear of hatred, exclusion, or violence. If you support this struggle as a man, you are also fighting for your own freedom: the freedom to break free from rigid ideas about masculinity, to show emotions, to express love as you wish, and to enter into relationships without shame or fear. The result is better mental health.
This is not just the struggle of women or the LGBTQ+ community. It is a struggle that concerns everyone. And the sooner we realise that, the better it will be for all of us.
Literature
Anxiety and Depression Association of America. (z.j.). What is toxic masculinity and how it impacts mental health? Geraadpleegd van https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/what-toxic-masculinity-and-how-it-impacts-mental
European Institute for Gender Equality. (z.j.). Femicide. Geraadpleegd van https://eige.europa.eu/gender-based-violence/femicide?language_content_entity=en
Lomazzi, V. (2023). The cultural roots of violence against women: Individual and institutional gender norms in 12 countries. ResearchGate. Geraadpleegd van https://www.researchgate.net/publication/368799719_The_Cultural_Roots_of_Violence_against_Women_Individual_and_Institutional_Gender_Norms_in_12_Countries
Van Laar, C., Van Rossum, A., Kosakowska-Berezecka, N., Bongiorno, R., & Block, K. (2024). MANdatory - why men need (and are needed for) gender equality progress. Frontiers in Psychology, 15. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1263313
